Conversations with Self
Conversations with Self
One of my favorite modes of self-care is verbal conversations with myself. I love personal time in the car to speak out loud and work out whatever challenges I may be faced with in the present moment. This has by far been the technique that has helped me most in making choices that are indeed what is best for me, as well as solidifying my positive self-talk. When we let our life issues spin in our minds we will inevitably keep circling around and around until we are overwhelmed. Think of an experience where you were able to talk something out. I can imagine you felt great relief that you were able to express yourself and be heard by someone.
What if you could have that release daily at any chosen moment? You can! And you can have that conversation with the person whose opinion means the most and whose life will be most impacted by the choices you make. You! Think about that for a minute. Who stands to gain the most and lose the most in the choices you make? You! So why is our first choice to seek advice from an outside source whose opinions do not and can not fully represent what is authentically best for us? I want you to become accustomed to trusting yourself in any situation as the lead role and the lead advisor to the choices you make. The best way I found to do that is through Conversations With Self.
You can bull%#&* anyone else any time if you choose to. You can give someone the Facebook version of yourself or any other version you care to share. But at the end of the day when it’s quiet and you’re alone, you cannot bull%#&* yourself! You cannot give yourself any other version of your experience outside of the fully disclosed truth. We try to, and for a while, we may be able to live behind the facade of our lies, but soon those lies will implode on us and we will be faced with the truths of our words and actions. No one likes to be held accountable. It’s uncomfortable, embarrassing and at times demoralizing. What I have found is that we can feel these things even when we look at ourselves in the mirror and hold ourselves accountable then and there. Isn’t that funny? No one is around, and the house is empty, but I can still feel as though someone is standing there with a finger pointed at me. Why? Because You are Your greatest impact! What you feel and believe about yourself is absolutely the most important opinion. Talking out loud in conversation with yourself will allow you to hear your side of the story and when you “hear” it, a whole new perspective will present itself.
When you hear something, you will perceive it more than if you only imagined it. When hearing is required you are now using one of your senses. This means that your instincts have been engaged. I want you to think about that one for a minute too. Our instincts are directly related to our senses. This is why talking out loud or writing in a journal can have a deeper impact. When these senses are activated, our intuition and instincts are called to action which means that there is a force behind how you choose to move forward.
I encourage you to try this technique as soon as possible. Bring to mind something that has been running through your head. It can be a small issue like what’s for dinner tonight, or something larger like contemplating a job offer. Begin by asking your question out loud. For instance; “what are the benefits of accepting this job”? Now you’ve got the question out, begin to respond to yourself as though you asked a friend that question and you are looking for advice. Go through the pros and cons and if you feel inclined to do so, write down some of what you come up with. The more you talk out loud about your topic, the clearer your answers will be. As you get comfortable with this technique your conversations will come easily. As with any other tool you are getting familiar with, this will take practice. There probably isn’t a day in your life that goes by where a choice of some kind isn’t needed. So again, choose small decisions if that is what you are faced with, and simply get comfortable talking out loud.
Homework:
Get comfortable talking out loud by choosing a few simple decisions and having a two-sided conversation. Speak as though you are talking to a friend and seeking advice. Play both roles. If you feel inclined to do so, write some of your conversation down so that you can go back and review later.
